I've got my gym shorts and my flippy floppies

[bornagoddess]

It was a beautiful day. A beautiful, outdoors-worthy kind of day. And it was completely due to the fact that Sif was once again a woman. She hadn't gone to find one of her new female friends for clothes yet, or gone back home to get her own gear, and so Sif was sporting the same diminutive training garb Natasha had lent her weeks ago. However, this time she had paired the clothes with some peculiar shoewear, platforms that held onto the feet by a simple strap between your big toe and the rest - the lady at the shop had called them 'flip flops'. Egged on by her so casual attire, Sif had gone outside instead of heading for the training room, to walk the grounds and catch some sunlight.

With this wonderful day it was even fitting that her clothes exposed some of her midriff and calves. Her hair was flowing uncharacteristically lose behind her back and Sif more glided than walked through the grass. Really it was all relief. While she had enjoyed herself as a man Sif had began to wonder if she would never go back to who she really was, who she felt like. Even despite the embarrassment of having had her pants drop in front of strangers, and her top cover very little of her breasts, Sif had not felt so good in weeks. And, apparently, it was a feeling meant to last.

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[bornagoddess]

Sif, of course, understood what Loki meant. More so than he did, in a way, because where there may have been a bit of goodwill towards him before, none could be found now in most people. She lowered her gaze, a hint of sadness washing over her features. She could not know what that felt like, not belonging, feeling expunged from one's home, but she could not deny he had had his hand in making it so. "You have always, voluntarily or not, distanced yourself from us. After a while some began resenting that, twisting your different tastes into some sense of superiority. Eventually we began thinking it was due to some sort of jealousy over Thor. I am not saying we are correct, merely where that may come from. Or did, initially."

As for Thor's reactions, she couldn't blame him. Sif was willing to give Loki the chance she hadn't before, but she couldn't expect the same from anyone else. It was out of some form of love she had felt for him ages ago, a part of which would always remain in her heart. Sif did not want to lose him again, even more than she already had. To others, he was already lost, or it hurt too much to entertain the possibility that he might not. She understood. "At first we mourned you as dead, Loki. No one looks for the dead. But your mother never gave up. Even Thor was ever ready to come get you soon as we got wind of your whereabouts. Your mother - she found you, some time after. She found you and Thor came for you. But what you did, what you planned to do..." She shook her head, raising her eyes to his face again. "I pointed my blade at you because I thought you dead. Dead men do not greet you as you exit through doors. I did not believe it was you."

It was a sad thing that Loki rebuked his original home so totally, but Sif was more at peace with the idea than she would have thought. That was simply because everything she had lived that he hadn't pointed towards that anyway. She gave him a smile that mixed sadness with gladness. "As long as you find a home, I can't fault you for it not being the one you were born to. Even if I shall miss you...Once in a long while. I don't think them fools any more than I think myself one. I am here enjoying your company, am I not?" Perhaps this place alone would make him less open to whatever cruel ideas he had gotten into his head before invading Midgard with an army of Chitauri.

"I think I speak of this too much already, but yes. I think a king does not instil competition between his two heirs from an early age, when what the kingdom needs is cooperation between the two. I think a king does not pretend to be considering either when one is groomed for it somewhat more than the other. And finally, I think a king needs to be a better judge of character." She eyed Loki briefly. "It is clear - and, as it turns out, confirmed - which of the two, objectively, might be a better king to Asgard on virtue of, at the very least, wanting to be it. Provided he would not abuse his power and use it merely to gain more of it, of course." Sif was not so naive as that. Despite what was said about the better leader being the one who did not want the position, Sif did not think that, for his many qualities, Thor made a good king when he did not want the throne in the least. He had grown quite a bit during his time in Midgard, but while there he had fallen in love with the whole realm - not just Jane Foster - in a way that made him lack objectivity. After speaking Sif leaned closer, an intense look upon Loki. "You will not repeat any of this to anyone, do you understand? I never spoke to you about the Allfather. Ever."

Shaking her head, Sif sighed deeply. "I meant neither. But you did not long ago call yourself a masochist for befriending me and I cannot deny you that moniker."

[thelostprince]

He could feel her sympathies, and even though he had imparted some to her not minutes before, he found this type to be somewhat detrimental. "Cheer up, Sif," he said, because she was growing too somber, too fast, and he would rather the Sif who had first joined him - cheerful and pleasant. Loki did not want pity, and while he didn't think that Sif was giving him any, there still remained the fact that he felt like she was, simply from the fact that she wasn't treating him sternly. "This isn't my home, either - I shall remain a vagrant. And I am at peace with that, for the time being. I miss Asgard less with you and my mother here." Half false, half true; Sif was a reminder, but a pleasant one - and present.

He held up a hand in innocent defense. "I shan't breathe a word to anyone," he said. "Though it is a shame you cannot be so candid with others as to your opinion of the Allfather's actions. Let that candidness remain with me," he said, with a teasing smile, "I'm already unpopular enough as it is. A little bit more won't hurt. If ever I voice your opinion, I shall claim it as my own." He did not ask her just which son she herself deemed to be the better King - in that instance he cared not for her opinion, or rather, what he assumed her opinion would be. It was true, though, that Loki had been given the throne, and he had mishandled it badly. He had been emotional, desperate, empowered. In some ways he was still at a loss at where he had gone astray, but somewhere he had, if everyone else's accounts were to be considered.

"That is true," he admitted, to the masochist remark, with a bit of a laugh. Rarely did anyone put his own words against him, especially when he had been teasing. He held out the wine to her. "Ah. Here is your reward for outsmarting me."

[bornagoddess]

At Loki's request that she cheer up Sif gave him a pointed look. Sometimes she wondered if he steered the conversation to where she would bare her heart to him only to then make it look like it had all been trivial stuff, not worthy of deeper meaning or baring anything. It annoyed her, but Sif said nothing - again. She simple gave him a forced smile that did not reach her eyes at first, though it became more genuine when he mentioned her part and Frigga's in making him miss home less. "Glad to be of help. I had missed your mother terribly as well, it was a great blessing to find her here."

Sif understood what a waste it was to voice your support of someone only to tell that person it couldn't transpire to anyone else. Were it the other way around, she probably would have been angry. "It is, yes, but I am not up to losing everything in order to support you so openly. I would love to vouch for you but I am not an idealist, not to that extent. I may try to bring you home and wish you there but I cannot change others' minds." She could try to change his future actions, however. At least she was going to give it a try. Sif shrugged. "However, you are free to use my words as your own." For whatever it was worth her tentative support was out there. Though thinking back on how Loki in the throne had gone, Sif almost wished there was a third option.

Although often she couldn't care less about outsmarting Loki - or anyone - Sif couldn't help a bright grin when Loki admitted to having been one-upped by her. "I am not the only one in a bright mood, surely." She quipped, taking the bottle.

[thelostprince]

He didn't want to argue with Sif, though she was giving him the sort of look that suggested she suspected he was jerking her around. Loki felt too at ease, too lazy, to purposefully poke at Sif. Tease her, yes, but not truly aggravate her. And so he tried to at least tiptoe around whatever was bothering her. If she wished to speak to him about delicate matters, he would allow her to do that, though he would try not to encourage her overmuch.

"I don't blame you for keeping your opinions to yourself," he said. "I am grateful you impart them to me. That is more than anyone else has offered." He tipped his head to the side, surprised that she wanted him to go home. He would expect that her life would be easier, better, without his presence. And if she were to vouch for him? If anything went wrong, such mistakes would fall on Sif's shoulders. Loki did not trust himself, or what he would do back home, to be comfortable with such an arrangement. "I would not wish you to have that responsibility, were I to ever go back," he said.

"I'm in a very good mood." She helped with that, of course. "That's why I want company in it."

[bornagoddess]

At least Loki did not seem keen to hold her silence against her, and Sif would have to be contented by that. While her life would not have been easier with him around, it would be slightly improved, perhaps. Then again, he had been around lately, before he and Thor had left to do battle with the Dark Elves. She had not gone to visit, had been discouraged to. And her life had not been improved any. Perhaps he was right, and in the end it would be better for all if he did not return. At least here they were both free, in the literal sense as well as the more figurative one. Still, his selflessness in wanting to spare her the burden of vouching for him was touching. Sif smiled. "I appreciate your concern. And you might be right, it might be better if you do not. You seem happier here, even I can see as much. It's out of nothing but selfishness that I would want you closer. Plus, we're plenty close already."

Rolling on her stomach, Sif pulled the bottle to herself and took a sip of the wine, an easy smile coming over her face. "You have it. I daresay we've run out of serious business to talk about as it is."

[thelostprince]

"Happier?" Loki asked - though really, he was more musing out loud. Happiness suggested he had settled, somewhat; and perhaps he had, outwardly. There was still something itching at him, however, something that made him realize that he could stay at the Nexus as long as he wanted and yet it would not be something he, himself, would be able to do. As he told Ruby, he may leave, and soon. And he would want to come back. But he could not stay at the hotel forever. "I suppose."

At the mention of serious business, he laughed. Though his future loomed disturbing and dark, and he had so little knowledge of it despite the fact that everyone around him seemed to know, it didn't truly threaten him just then. Perhaps that was a sign now was a good time to go and meet it; while there was that inkling of invincibility hovering over him. "You could always tell me what I get up to," he said. "Thor is dreadfully obscure. I don't understand how I am supposed to avoid misery, destruction and eventual death if I'm not told of it, and I've accused him of not wanting me to. But that, I think, would do the opposite of lightening the mood."

[bornagoddess]

"Less bitter?" Sif tried, head tilted as she sported a teasing smile. "More prone to smiling? Lighter on your feet?" She nodded silently when he agreed, though in her hopeful ignorance Sif liked to think the Nexus, with all its doors and places to go was enough for Loki's ever-searching needs.

Her smile faltered completely when Loki suggested she tell him what he did in his future. Sometimes it felt like a fool's errand. It was Sif's biggest fear that it was. "You scare me, when you speak of it so lightly, but I suppose if no one told you you can't know. It won't lighten the mood but then, I still have the hope I can somehow keep you from all of it. You commit despicable deeds. Unforgivable. You are no longer yourself, you become twisted, consumed. Every chance you're given at diverting from your dark path, you squander. And your redemption comes only in death. And I hardly see you again."

As one last mad attempt before leaving it enough alone forever, Sif took Loki's hand in hers. "You become so alone, and no one can reach you. You won't let us, and then later we won't want to. And I will spend the rest of my time wondering what I could have done to keep you." All that said, Sif let go of Loki's hand and took the bottle again, closing her eyes. She downed the whole of it in one sitting, breathing through her nose all the while. When she was done Sif discarded the bottle behind herself and drew a long breath.

"Right I think now we're done with the serious business. So I suggest we speak of the pretty shapes clouds make and of how this light favors my complexion. Or so I'm told."

[thelostprince]

Loki was supremely startled, which was a difficult thing to accomplish - yet Sif had managed it. In all of her earnesty, and in that kind-heartedness she so rarely displayed, for a moment he was at a loss for words. These instances came to him sometimes in extreme duress, like when Thor said something particularly hurtful, but rarely had he been startled into silence by so simple an action as Sif reaching out and taking his hand. To offer such a touch was one thing, as he had done earlier, with little difficulty; but to receive it, especially one so forward and plain like taking his hand, was unexpected to say the least, harder to understand.

In response, all Loki really wanted to do was reassure her, as she seemed to take his hand in a moment of her own distress. It took him a moment to realize she had already let go, and was drinking the wine, before he even managed to think of a response. "I'll do my best to remember that," he said slowly. He was trying to separate the words in his head, from the description of his future to Sif's apparent response to it. He would not have expected her to cling and yet, from what she said, it seemed like she may have done it all the same.

He glanced up at the aforementioned light. "It does favour you," he said. "Though I should say you favour your surroundings more." The flattery - so close to flirtation - tripped off of his lips before he could stop it, not that he particularly wanted to. He wanted her to hear something nice. He wasn't sure if she realized she had just done similar to him.

[bornagoddess]

Upon seeing the startled look on Loki's face Sif wanted to stop speaking, and yet she found she couldn't. This was the chance she had been waiting for to lay it all out, and now that she had started she couldn't very well stop. When she did, and downed the rest of the wine, Sif felt at once weightless and like something was pushing down on her shoulders enough to bury her in the ground. Loki's tentative vow was enough, had to be enough. Sif nodded slowly. "Thank you. That is all I can ask." There wasn't much hope in her at that moment, as Sif had realized upon exposing the facts that it was not up to her to actively change anything. And perhaps things could not be changed, or perhaps she would not see the effects in her own version of Asgard. Dimensions, universes, these were things she struggled to understand, and Sif was not sure if anything changed in her own past if Loki tried to change his future. It remained to be seen but so far...she remembered everything the same.

Now it was Loki's turn to be flattering, even complimenting. Ignoring how her heart fluttered slightly at it, when Sif furrowed her brow it was a testament to how unused she was to that. She gave Loki a smile, thankful as well as surprised, and realized she did not know how to reply. She turned around, laying flat on her back. Her eyes fluttered to a close against the bright sunlight. "I could do this for days. I am not typically lazy but something about enjoying the radiant sun with y- with an old friend has started to sound like the top of a small list of things I ought to do a lot more of."

[thelostprince]

Even though they had been friends for a long time it was still rare to see Sif like this. Like him she had an exterior shell that was difficult to crack, or which she held up like a shield when it suited her, which was often. She was a warrior first and foremost, after all, and it was unusual to see anything less.

He really ought to reach for the second bottle of wine and open it, but instead he looked at her stretched out in the sunlight, admiring the familiar planes of her face, and, of course, the rest of her - for let it never be said that Sif was an unattractive woman, and though she was just as beautiful in her armour and half-beaten to a pulp, in too-small sweatclothes she was also nice to look at.

"I am new to the belief that one should be at ease every now and then," he said. "But I am becoming an avid disciple of said belief." It was true that he felt less of a strain, now, than he did when he was trying to keep his mind heavily occupied - not that he was losing his edge, but rather the continued act of thinking and musing and brooding, the hourly grind of his intellect, was weighing heavy on him. It was easier to relax with company, he had learned; he could blame part of the success on Sif.

[bornagoddess]

Despite her closed eyes Sif could feel Loki's gaze on her. Unlike most other times, she found she did not mind at all. Her breath had reached a steady, slow pace and she found it was the most relaxed she had been lately. Perhaps it was that all she'd wanted to tell Loki ever since she had laid eyes on him again had been said. It was out of the way, it was in his hands. There was a sense of liberation to that.

"As am I." She agreed. "I am only reluctant because I am not used to it at all." And because she was only considering it since Lorelei, of all people, had put that worm into her mind. For that reason alone Sif was reluctant to even seriously consider it, and yet she found herself paying it mind more often than she liked. "This place lends itself to this sort of thing, does it not? It is as though we put our lives on hold and escape. The Nexus is tricky, but not all bad." Much like someone she knew. Sif opened her eyes slightly, smiling up at Loki as she made the association.

[thelostprince]

"You are the type that if you are not breaking a sweat, the hour is wasted," Loki said, dryly. Loki would never consider himself lazy, though he divided his time between pursuits both physical and mental (and many on Asgard considered sitting down with a book - or twenty - to be a rather unambitious way of spending the time). Sif, however, spent a good deal more time at the gym and on the training field than him.

"This place does lend itself well to many diversions, yes," he agreed. Though his voice was solemn, when she looked up at him with that little smile, he smiled back. He also took advantage of her laying down next to him to pull up some grass and sprinkle it onto her bared stomach. Loki, childish? Never.

[bornagoddess]

"And you are the type that if you are not sharpening your mind, the hour is wasted!" Sif quipped back without malice. It was just how they were. Sif liked to think they complimented each other rather well that way, because neither was he clueless as to the battle side of things, nor was she all brawn and no brains. She sighed. "And yet, here we both are."

Loki's little childish gesture had been unexpected, and as Sif felt the itching on her stomach she raised her head to find it sprinkled with grass. She looked up at Loki, rolling her eyes, and pushed the grass from her stomach with the back of her hand. "Feeling playful are we?" A long while had gone by since the last time she had seen him so. It was only good sense to take advantage of it. Sif ripped a handful of grass from the ground and blew it off her open palm in Loki's direction.

[thelostprince]

"Yet, here we are," Loki agreed. He enjoyed victories in his pursuits, even now, and even though he did not enjoy them for very long. Satisfaction was not in his nature, and yet as he considered it he supposed he could try to pursue even that, should he have such company as Sif. When she didn't annoy him, anyway, as he was annoying her.

Loki blinked as Sif blew a handful of grass at him in response, and smirked. "Playful?" he asked. "I'm sure I don't understand what you mean." He reached over, picking up the second bottle of wine, and opening it. The hotel and other similar places that Midgardians enjoyed liked to bottle their alcohol with twisting caps instead of corks, and he was really beginning to appreciate the ease of it.

[bornagoddess]

Sif's laughter at Loki's denying remark came with a roll of the eyes that was much less heartfelt than usual. As she watched him open the second wine bottle Sif found that she became quite overwhelmed by how easy this was. She had not been this comfortable with Loki in such a long while, and for such awful reasons that it had all but obliterated the good times they had spent together.

A deep sigh of contentment escaped her, after which Sif's eyes widened in surprise at her own lack of restraint. She had never been able to successfully hide her own emotions from her face, but this went beyond that. Attempting to disguise the sound would be ridiculous, and so Sif simply braced for Loki's reaction to such unguarded manifestations of pleasure in his company.

"It has been some time since I have seen you up to such harmless and good-natured mischief." She eventually managed as explanation, turning her face away from Loki.

[thelostprince]

If Loki was surprised by Sif (and he was) he did not show it. She was sensitive to his teasing these days and at the moment he did not want to upset what he viewed as a somewhat precarious balance of contentment in their discourse. He would rather Sif continue on, unfettered. He was unused to such candour with her, especially now, and almost selfishly Loki wanted to hoard it - though it didn't occur to him that in that selfishness he was in turn being kind.

"Oh yes?" he asked instead. "Probably because you seem to appreciate it more than others on Asgard. The more harmless I appear, the less respect I seem to receive; and the less harmless I am, the less I am loved. Not so with you, I think. To be both fierce and beloved is a privilege held by warriors such as yourself."

[bornagoddess]

The surprise factor went on as the expected teasing about Sif's deep sigh of pure contentment never came. She remained still, waiting for it, and found herself waiting in vain. As it didn't come, Sif's eyes remained wide in surprise as he spoke. She could feel the bitterness oozing from his words and in response she gave another deep sigh - this time a joyless one.

"I believe it is less about fierceness and more about where it is directed, Loki." That was, for now, all she had to say on the matter of their home and its collective response to Loki. It was beginning to feel like they could go around in circles about this matter for days never convincing one another of much. Although there was one thing Loki had managed to convince Sif of: He did not belong in Asgard any longer. And for all the pain that truth caused her, she wanted him to find somewhere he could feel welcomed and comfortable and like he belonged - wherever that place might be.

"If it counts for anything at all, I believe you to be fierce even when you are not being harmful." Her eyes darted up to his briefly. "Any love I might bear you remains, even so. More so, perhaps. One needn't exist for the other to be there."

[thelostprince]

He held one hand up, in apology and defence. "I did not mean to complain," he said. "Simply that I think you exert more awareness for things than most of our companions and comrades back home, and that you are easily loved." Then his lips quirked into a smile, amused at her. "I was complimenting you again. You see what I mean, when I say you never notice?"

He shifted on the grass, which was slowly getting trampled down to accommodate their bodies, and held the cold wine bottle, already beginning to sweat, out to her. He met her eyes and for a moment he remembered, very easily, how he had once found her so distant he could not find the courage to even reach for her, years ago. Now it was so, so easy, and that was difficult to comprehend because for another moment it felt like nothing had really changed. But then he remembered he had, and she certainly had, and he was thinking about ghosts.

"More so?" he echoed. "It pleases me to hear it."

[bornagoddess]

The first part was, undoubtedly, a compliment which put a smile on Sif's face, though the last made her snicker humorlessly. "I am not easily loved. I daresay I am not easy to love, either. In many circles I am merely tolerated, you know this." And it maddened her beyond belief that this was only so due to whom she associated herself with. If not for the endorsement of the royal family Sif doubted even tolerance was something she would encounter so often. Perhaps it was her unwavering nature, the way she never backed down even when expected or coerced to. Perhaps it was merely that certain things took actual centuries getting used to for some people. It did not much matter. Sif decided to focus, instead, on the compliment she had been paid. She offered Loki a smile. "I noticed. Belatedly, but I noticed."

Taking the wine bottle from Loki's hands Sif tapped her fingers against the cold glass, once again almost surprised by the talents she kept forgetting Loki had for the cold. She took a sip, a small one, licking her lips as the liquid ran down her body with a welcomed tinge of freshness. While it ran its course Sif thought back to when, if such a thing as their fingers touching briefly as they had during the bottle exchange happened, she would feel as electric as Mjolnir when Thor called down thunder. Sif remembered clearly never quite being able to look at Loki in the face for hours after one of those moments, but always looking for him in any given room. As her mind took flight Sif wondered if anything would have been different had she not made such a point to shut herself off when such feelings made themselves noticed. Possibly not. A man like Loki would likely not go for a woman like her, and why would he? They were, after all, fundamentally different. And yet, she couldn't help but think, fundamental differences was what made their relationship fun. Exhausting, but fun. She snickered to herself at the thought, handing the bottle back to Loki.

"Does it?" She asked simply.

[thelostprince]

"I also know that those circles are not any you need ever concern yourself with," Loki replied, easily enough. Through no political machination of her own had Sif gotten in such good graces, a favourite of his parents and a jewel in Asgard's forces. Loki understood that well enough, especially now that he had learned his place in the royal family could only be partially considered birthright - royal blood, yes, but not the right type of royalty. But Sif had earned her place, through what his family had considered valuable, through what others valued. Loki was simply the spoils of war.

If Sif was not popular with some, they clearly had priorities that were of no use to Asgard. Still, he did understand, for Loki himself would never be as well loved as his brother, now more than ever. At least Sif hadn't the taste of competition to work away under her skin.

Love, that feeling of regard and respect and affection that could be so easily admitted to - and then love as that terrible and debilitating emotion. From Sif, Loki could enjoy both. Though he knew she meant the former, it was impossible to not also understand that subtle undercurrent in her words, where if Loki tried he could hear what he wanted to hear, and confuse it with reality. "Yes," he said, easily. He relaxed back on one elbow, stretching his legs out and turning his face up to the sun for a moment. "Perhaps I'm doing something right, then."

[bornagoddess]

"I do good work of remembering that most of the time." Sif replied, looking away. While not something that made much of a dent after so many years having proven herself a capable warrior, there were still times where Sif was bothered by little insecurities stemming from the doubt she still saw in a few pairs of eyes. She had proven herself, proven them all wrong, and yet still some viewed her as some kind of defective being. Most of the time, she turned her chin up and let them speak. Eventually they came to either thank her in person or, she was sure, be thankful to her regardless. It still gnawed at her, when she let it.

Though if she had been privy to Loki's thoughts on competition, she would have laughed bitterly. Because Sif had not been born competitive, she had been forced to become it. It was merely a matter of it not being constantly so close to home as Loki's, thus not as present.

Not very long ago Sif would say with utmost certainty that she meant the kind of love that was made up of affection and respect. And, due to recent-past events, sadness and some anger. However since spending more time with Loki - this Loki, a friend but not yet a monster - things of the past had resurfaced. Not that Sif did anything but pretend very effectively that they were not, in fact, tugging at her this very moment. "I don't know," she replied, as non-committally as she could manage. "From my point-of-view, you are. From yours, I suppose it depends on how much value mine has for you."

[thelostprince]

"That is what I mean," Loki said, his voice soft and mild, as if the sunlight had melted it slightly. "I am glad you find more affection for me. That suggests my own behaviour is to blame, unless you have suddenly become much less stubborn than usual."

In reality, Loki's cares about others' opinions of him were starting to become much more fluid. Some days he found he cared very much; others he couldn't give a damn, and it also depended on the person. Thor's opinion of him, for example, was flunctuating so violently along Loki's list of priorities he had almost done away with it alltogether. Sif upset him less, annoyed him less. Loki felt more readily able to hang onto her, for the time being. As for the world at large, Loki have given up being concerned with its viewpoint of him alltogether.

As to the thought he was changing for the better, well. He supposed that wasn't such a big surprise, nor something he was wary of. Loki had been unhappy as he was on Asgard, and that was as good an indication as any that he could not remain in stasis, he needed to move forward. He was settling into it again, which served as a warning. He didn't think he was done yet.

[bornagoddess]

The softness in Loki's voice did not go unnoticed, or unappreciated. Sif had always been partial to the huskier, more mellow quality of it, working so well with Loki's silver tongue. She knew it to be a dangerous combination but then her wits had never left her enough for her to be unable to appreciate it with objectivity. "I don't bear more love for you when you aren't causing serious harm, Loki. Rather, I find it difficult to love you at all when you are. It has nothing to do with stubbornness."

And it wasn't that simple either. There was a whole amalgamation of feelings before Sif could ever let go of whatever kind of affection she felt for Loki. That she was finding it so hard to let go was only proof of that. "So, yes. I suppose your behavior is key."

[thelostprince]

"Serious harm," Loki repeated, thoughtfully. "I wonder what kind of serious harm I do. We come from a culture of war and I admit I've always found some difficulty in making the distinction over what it is we should and shouldn't do, in our worlds and in others. That is, I see now that I find difficulty in it. All of the harm my brother has caused over the years, always smoothed over, no matter how brutal it might have been. I wonder what it is I do, that mine is serious, and his is not."

He looked over at her, a wondering look on his face. He wasn't sure it really mattered, and whatever it was that Sif might have to say on the subject, well, he wasn't sure he could entirely trust it anyway. "I suppose I will find out," he said. "Sooner or later." And he would see, as well, if that would cost him her regard.

[bornagoddess]

"Well, perhaps I can help you understand: Trapping your brother on Midgard under false pretenses is harmful. A little less playful mischief, a little more cruelty disguised as the good of all. Lying, deceiving, manipulating those who love you is not quite the festival fun sort either. Levelling an entire town with the Destroyer - I almost died then by the way, I was fully prepared to - is another harmful thing. Wanting to destroy an entire realm, even if it is Jotunheim, is one of the things which I think perhaps you should not do. I don't know, it somehow does not quite sit well with me. And before you ask oh what about Thor I know. He was a fool for trying the first time, and he paid the price." Sif sat up, legs folded one beneath the other, turned entirely to Loki. "Destroying the one method of transportation we have between realms which ensures the protection of them - also not a great thing. Shocking, I know, but it leads to invasions by groups we cease to be able to keep in check. As for the 'distinction': there is war, and then there is genocide. In war both parties agree to it, or at least have some knowledge that it is to happen. Those involved know and are trained for what is to unfold. In genocide, one party lays waste to everything and everyone, innocents upon innocents, while the other party has no hope of even defending itself - due to surprise, poor preparedness or simply because they did not do anything to cause such a thing." She could go on, but she had a feeling it would all fall on deaf ears.

"Your brother has been a horse's arse more times than I have had my hair braided. But whereas his actions stemmed from hubris and foolishness, you knew exactly what you were doing. Did you not? One of the downfalls of being the smartest, most collected person in the room is that you're expected to be so for the duration. As for what we do, we do not attack, we defend. I do, at least. So does your brother - now more than before, I'll admit - but it is what we stand for. It is what I stand for. And as I recall we were talking about my feelings in response to your actions, were we not? I know you can be better than that, if you just let go. You needn't go back to Asgard, you needn't think about us at all. Do what it is you want, find a path, but don't taint yourself further. Don't harm innocents. It's that simple."

There he went again, talking of it as if it was a done deal. An inevitability. Sif had thought, hoped, she might have gotten through to him. But when so little time later he spoke like this, she began wondering if she ever could. "Yes." She replied bitterly. Sif turned away from him, returning to a horizontal position with her slightly moistened eyes to the sky. "I suppose you will."