I've got my gym shorts and my flippy floppies

[bornagoddess]

It was a beautiful day. A beautiful, outdoors-worthy kind of day. And it was completely due to the fact that Sif was once again a woman. She hadn't gone to find one of her new female friends for clothes yet, or gone back home to get her own gear, and so Sif was sporting the same diminutive training garb Natasha had lent her weeks ago. However, this time she had paired the clothes with some peculiar shoewear, platforms that held onto the feet by a simple strap between your big toe and the rest - the lady at the shop had called them 'flip flops'. Egged on by her so casual attire, Sif had gone outside instead of heading for the training room, to walk the grounds and catch some sunlight.

With this wonderful day it was even fitting that her clothes exposed some of her midriff and calves. Her hair was flowing uncharacteristically lose behind her back and Sif more glided than walked through the grass. Really it was all relief. While she had enjoyed herself as a man Sif had began to wonder if she would never go back to who she really was, who she felt like. Even despite the embarrassment of having had her pants drop in front of strangers, and her top cover very little of her breasts, Sif had not felt so good in weeks. And, apparently, it was a feeling meant to last.

Comments

[bornagoddess]

Sif was not going to disagree, so she simply shrugged, smugness in her smile. "I have to say I saw hardly a difference in you. It was a very faithful transformation." She felt about the same towards him in either body, as well.

"Ah well." She didn't much care for the quality of the wine as long as it didn't taste like piss or vinegar. After sitting for only a moment Sif leaned back, propped on her elbows so as to not lie down completely. While she had been blinking up at the sun Loki's comment about her exposed skin made her look his way, eyebrow raised. Having shifted her position Sif couldn't keep her midriff from exposing dangerously, but she found she did not care. It was unlikely that she would be mortally wounded any time soon. "Enjoying the view, are you?" There was no admonishment in her voice; in fact, her smile was all but inviting. She gave him another once-over, this time lingering a bit more than the first time around. "I don't think I remember the last time I've seen so much of yours, either."

A chuckle left her as he compared them to barbarians. "I know you are joking and would never, but I've likely done that before. Yes, I know you disapprove. Now pour me up some wine, and if no cup is present hand me the bottle."

[thelostprince]

"I'd disagree, but when I went to see Thor, I have to say I don't think he even noticed," Loki said, dryly. "So that would be two against one." Well, Thor had been initially puzzled, but then hadn't even seemed to care that his brother was suddenly in possession of breasts. Loki hadn't been entirely sure how to take that, but other matters had distracted his attention, anyway.

Caught looking, he wouldn't deny it, especially when the look on her face suggested she didn't mind. "It's a good view. I told you, it's not a bad look for you." Of course, the fact she chose to oggle him in return was not something he relished, but at the same time Sif was well aware of what he looked like, so it wasn't like he had anything to hide from her. "I'm slowly becoming a warmer shade of pale," he said, with a self-deprecating smile. "My arms haven't seen the light of day in a long time." He was not as ghostly white as he had been upon first arriving at the Nexus, but he hadn't been sunbathing, either.

He set down his book on his discarded jacket, then reached over for the open bottle, still precariously balanced against his knee, the glass fogging over from the chill. He didn't need to keep place in the book; he knew exactly what page he had been on. "Your libations," he said, straight-faced.

[bornagoddess]

It was hard to imagine Thor not paying much attention to his brother's sudden change of sex, but Sif chuckled heartily all the same at the idea. "Perhaps his attention was focused elsewhere." There was only a hint, a very faint hint, of bitterness in her voice, and Sif had to stop from telling Loki she had finally reunited with Jane Foster earlier this day. That would only fuel remarks she wasn't sure she wanted to hear. "Or you really are essentially the same as a woman as you are a man." It wasn't true; she had been more breathtaking than he was right now, though perhaps that was because Sif was accustomed to him, and not at all to her.

"I suppose I should thank you, but I confess I am not used to compliments from you so bear with me." It was pleasant to be complimented and not merely cat-called or treated like a piece of meat - and Sif was thankful that those things never came from Loki. Credit where it was due, and such. She chuckled lightly at what he said next, looking over at his arms again. "You do quite reflect the light." Sif joked good-naturedly, looking down at her own navel. "But then, so do I, in certain parts." Her arms were a pleasant peach-like color, but not her stomach or even her calves.

"What is that you're reading?" Sif narrowed her eyes in curiosity. She watched him pour the wine, a slight chuckle going with what Loki chose to say as he poured. She pulled the bottle from his hand after shifting to lay on her side. "I do like the sound of those words on your lips, Loki." She confessed with a smirk, taking a swig of the wine. Well, it wasn't complete garbage, had a sweetness to it. "Let me not get used to such reverence."

Not that she thought him serious, in any case.

[thelostprince]

"Perhaps," Loki allowed, with the ghost of a smile on his face, now. Thor, after all, did not conjure up quite so many good feelings as might be called up with Frigga or Sif. "He was decorating eggs for the fertility celebration. That takes up a good deal of concentration, it seems." He detected the unpleasant flavour to Sif's voice, lurking underneath her words, but did not comment on it, or needle her for it. Sif was in a good mood and he rather liked her that way; as of late, anything else was liable to set him off into a bit of a moody spiral.

"I compliment you all the time, Sif," he said, amused, brightening slightly. "You just seem to consider them insults, or you don't even notice. It's good. I can get them in without it being too awkward. Here's another one: I don't think you need to worry about being pale. If you're ever stranded you can just lift your shirt a bit and reflect the light, signal to any passing ships or caravans. The others have to build fires in order to do that. It's tiring work."

He glanced down at the book. "Something from Midgard, or similar," he said. "Last night I started picking authors and then working my way through their novels. I find myself less interested in more factual texts at the moment."

[bornagoddess]

It was even harder to imagine Thor actively participating in the arts and crafts part of a fertility celebration. Sif raised both eyebrows, amused. "Thor was doing this?" She chuckled. Sif had refrained from celebrating at all, not feeling very up for a fertility celebration when everything in her body was upside down - or the other way around, as it were.

"You do, do you?" Ah there it was, a hint at how bad she was at understanding nuance, perhaps. It was to be expected eventually. She was about to ask for clarification when Loki actually made a joke at her expense that she did not feel offended by. In fact, perhaps due to her good spirits or perhaps simply because it was funny, it made her throw her head back and laugh. "Then I suppose you could simply remove your coat and wave your arms around."

Sif drank some more while Loki explained about his recently acquired reading habits, and then tilted the bottle in his direction in case he wanted a sip. It did not escape Sif's notice that this was, by far, the strangest thing she had done barring having been turned into a man. She could hardly remember the last time she and Loki had simply sat somewhere chatting casually. She seemed to have forgotten how much she had missed it until just now. "You've found an interest for Midgardian fiction? How is it?"

[thelostprince]

"Yes, but not very well. His artistic abilities haven't come very far since the dark ages of our childhood," Loki said, dryly. "Dye everywhere. I attempted to help, but he rather put me off the decorating mood after a good two minutes."

Sif looked very pretty when she laughed; and he supposed just then that it was more enhanced by the fact she had left her hair loose and wild. "How do you think I know that the method works?" he asked. "I've tried it myself, obviously. Don't worry; I can handle that side of things if we ever get lost on the hotel grounds. You'll have to hunt for our food, though."

He reached for the bottle, which really, he had barely cracked into - if he had been serious about drinking he would have brought more wine, just as he would have brought more books if he was serious about reading. He went through both quickly enough when left to his own devices. No, he was making a marked attempt at laziness, so naturally he didn't mind distraction by Sif. "A mild interest," he said. "Some of it is good, some of it bad, much like anywhere else, I suppose. This author seems rather obsessed with the human condition as a whole. DH Lawrence. His prose is a little bit much, though."

[bornagoddess]

Sif couldn't help a low chuckle. Imagining Thor attempt something so delicate as to decorate eggs softened the blow of not having been able to see her good friend so far, not to mention it was an exercise in hilarity. "Yes, he gets that way once he realizes he is failing." She gave Loki a smile of complicity, assuming they both knew well the effects of Thor's frustration. Sif better than most, however, since she was guilty of it too. The more help she needed the less of it she was likely to accept.

Still laughing, Sif crossed her legs one over the other, raising her head back up. "Tried and true, is it? 'Tis settled then, you handle the call for rescue I'll handle the attempt at survival." She turned to him with curiosity. "I have heard of doors leading to other worlds. Perhaps one day you and I ought to venture into one, see what lies beyond, and we might have need of those skills then." It was a bold thing, to suggest she would like to do anything with Loki, but this was what Sif had regretted never doing: reaching out. So she had, and that was done.

"They all do, do they not? I know little of Midgardian culture but they all seem to somehow wear their short lifespan and consequent feverish search for purpose on their shoulders...Or perhaps it is that my perception is biased." She shrugged as she could. Suddenly all humans she had met and befriended invaded Sif's thoughts, and she frowned. "It saddens me. I shall still be many moons away from death and Ruby, Natasha - perhaps Steve - will be decayed if not dead. I know not how your brother manages." It came out, easily as if she had been discussing this DH Lawrence or still the human condition on broad terms. Sif eyed Loki fearfully, sure that he would remark on her indiscretion. It was, after all, something Thor seemed reluctant to discuss. "Well that went to a much sadder place than I had been prepared for! I apologize. So, yes, I met your friend Ruby. Lovely lady!"

[thelostprince]

Loki knew Sif was talking about Thor's impatience in small things, perhaps even how that impatience could rub off on others. Still, the remark did leave Loki with the awareness, yet again, that he was one of those things; something that Thor could not decipher and could not seem to find the energy to attempt. Perhaps Thor was right when he said Loki made things difficult, but still, Loki didn't see that as a viable excuse to give up on a sibling. Especially when said sibling was truly attempting to clear the air.

So instead of remarking upon that, Loki just smiled and tried to allow the subject of his brother to pass. "The doors here are quite diverting," he said. "I have been through a fair few." Some Loki had simply explored; others, he had left some damage in his wake. "I would like to experience some with you. Oftentimes when I have companions these days, I have to do most of the defending when things go awry." He had quite enjoyed that strange door, filled with a burning underground heat, and unspeakable creatures; Fiona, however, hadn't been too keen about it. He'd been forced to help her get out instead of enjoying it.

"I would say that most of them don't," he replied. "To them their lives are as long as ours; they are grounded firmly in the present, but forever looking forward, and I don't think it's common for them to entertain ideas of their own death or their mark on the world, unless they are rather depressed." He gave Sif a questioning look, then shrugged. "Time slows down when you are around them," he said. "You'll see. Though my brother's folly is, indeed, folly."

At the hasty subject change to Ruby, Loki just laughed. "Yes, she is," he said. "When we ran into each other while I was still a woman, she was quite insistent that she get to borrow my dress." He also suspected that Ruby wasn't quite human, but that was private, so he didn't mention it to Sif.

[bornagoddess]

Usually Sif was not one to ask another about their adventures, but rather one to have them herself. However all the doors to all the different places in this hotel must make for quite the tales, and Sif had sadly not weaved any of her own as of yet. She smiled sweetly as Loki expressed the desire to go exploring with her, though it faltered some when he revealed the true purpose behind his wish. "Ah. Well you needn't worry about that with me. I'd likely end up defending you, in truth."

With an unconvinced expression, Sif shrugged and took the bottle from Loki, taking a sip. "Hmm. I suppose I've caught all mostly depressing moments, then. Or I need to immerse myself in Midgardian culture more." Not something she particularly looked forward to, but perhaps necessary. She narrowed her eyes at what Loki said about time. "Truly? I don't think I have noticed." A humorless snort escaped her as Loki admitted Thor was a fool in this particular aspect.

"Incidentally, she was the one who helped me find myself some menswear. She is cheerful, quite giving. I quite enjoy her company." She smiled up at him. "You have good taste in lady friends, if the both of us are any indication."

[thelostprince]

Loki grinned at her, at the way her expression seemed to dim, slightly. "Well," he said, "my main concern is I don't get to see much if I'm busy trying to carry someone to the nearest exit before their head gets ripped off. So having you around would mean actual exploring could take place. And, you know," he said, reaching out to gently poke one of her smooth, but very pale, calves. "The aforementioned hunting and gathering. Though if you want me to carry you to safety, I can do my best."

He raised his eyebrows at her, though, at mentioning 'depressed' moments. "Have all the mortals you've met been so distressing?" he asked. "For the most part they've been rather vibrant creatures, to me. I don't think of them as particularly short-lived, since they don't express themselves that way. Though that does make them interesting.

"Ruby is interesting," he continued, musingly. "I think there is more to her than even she is aware of. But she told me all about outfitting you. Apparently, you were more accepting of her help than mine," he added. He shifted, laying back in the grass and stretching out, smiling up at Sif in a self-satisfied way. "And I'm more than aware of my good taste, thank you, thank you."

[bornagoddess]

It was a good reasoning, that. Sif allowed it, and the way she nodded with a placid smile was proof. "Just think of all the trouble we could get into. Or you could get into and I might or might not be persuaded to join you in. I believe that would more be the case." Sif retracted her leg slightly at the poking, a reproachful expression taking over for a mere moment when she looked at Loki. "Actually, dear Loki, even if I were unconscious I would rather you do your very best to wake me up before you even attempted to carry me anywhere." She knew he knew that would be her stance on the situation, but it bore repeating.

Loki's question made Sif turn her gaze up to the sky and wonder. In doing so she found that it had to be her biased view of certain aspects of Midgardian life that clouded her. "Not as such, no. But even in film, in their actions, they seem so eager and rushing to find their purpose. To evade death." Some even did so successfully, as was the case of a man, Sif now remembered, whom Loki had killed. But he didn't know that yet, he had not done it yet, she realized as she looked at him. The man, the Son of Coul had looked slightly distressed under his easy disposition, and the way he acted and asked her not to mention it to anyone made Sif wonder what lied beneath a happy miracle. To sit here with Loki before he had caused such distress was suddenly made very aware to her, and Sif bit her bottom lip to keep from blurting out some plea. Once he made his opinion of mortals known, Sif's eyebrows raised and a hint of mockery appeared in the curve of her lips.

"Vibrant, are they? My, you sound like your brother. You will be telling me you've fallen for a child of Midgard yourself in days." Sif rolled her eyes. "I don't know, as most of the ones I have met have been not quite the average mortal perhaps I have compensated too much. Natasha, Steve, the metal bending man...By all accounts all mortals but by no means average. And the others were in the wrong sexes at the time." Though there had been Joan, and Joan was average - tiny even - but the word was, undoubtedly, vibrant. In her passion as in her conviction, and Sif respected that. And there was Ruby. Vibrant she definitely was. Though, by what Loki said next, perhaps not so average.

"Oh? What do you think it is?" Sif looked down and exhaled sharply as Loki nigh-confronted her about being more accepting of Ruby's help than his. "Sometimes a stranger's help is needed more than a friend's. And I was drunk. She saved me embarrassment, truly." Now it was Sif's turn to poke him in the ribs, a smile of mock-disapproval in her face as she shook her head. "Yes, of course you are."

[thelostprince]

"Undoubtedly. And I can be very persuasive, I think," Loki said, smirking up at Sif. The remark on carrying her to safety was a tease, nothing more; the idea of having to rescue Sif, ever, was highly amusing just for its unlikeliness. Covering her back in a fight was one thing - they had all done that for one another, in their long companionship - but actually needing to come to her aid was something else. Sif had a keen warrior's instinct, that ability to understand everything that was going on around her. Loki himself was quick, fierce, intelligent and self-aware, and even he knew that in understanding the move and flow of the battlefield, like waves of the ocean, was something Sif clearly outstripped him in. In matter of fact, he had a high opinion of her skills, and felt that in those respects she was a more honed warrior than Thor, but he was not about to voice that.

"Maybe their rushing about is a good thing," he mused. "Our own people do suffer from an epidemic of stasis. Never changing, never learning; we have all the time in the world, but still never enough." He closed his eyes, enjoying, for a moment, the sunlight, but also because when Sif brought up Thor he had to laugh in an unpleasant way, and it was easier to hide how deep his disagreement was. "I hope I don't sound like him," he said. "His ideas are too rooted to the ground, and he is eternally stubborn, lazy in his thinking, but his emotions? I wish my own heart were so fluid, sometimes, but perhaps it is easier in the long run to not fall for every pretty face I meet. Those unlucky few can stay as a few."

Not to mention the fact that, really - with Sif around, most women didn't stand much of a chance. It wasn't that he was stuck on any feelings about her, though her presence was exacerbating emotions he thought long dead - it was that when he remembered how he felt for Sif, the idea of feeling that for anyone else because highly improbable to him. So difficult and painful; he preferred the coolness of being alone.

"I think many things of Ruby, but since she has not made her own discoveries yet, it would be in poor taste to voice my suspicions to you, yes?" he said, opening his eyes finally, shading them from sunlight with his hand. "Ow," he added, since she had poked him. Not that it actually hurt.

[bornagoddess]

Sif smirked back, rolling her eyes. "Yes, I daresay it is your most honed skill." Sometimes it looked like it, though lately it seemed as though it was failing - or perhaps it was more that Loki wasn't interested in persuading anyone to let him get away with his crimes. He had been defiant, biting, firm in his attempt to drive a wedge between himself and the others. No, Sif decided; it was not failing. Loki had simply ceased to use it on them. "Or one of them, in any case."

As between the both of them Loki was the clear authority on mortals, Sif thought it best to listen, and so she rolled onto her side, propping her head up with her hand to listen. "We can grow quite complacent, that is true. And overly patient, and boring. But if I hadn't had the time I did I would not be half the warrior I am - so there are advantages in having almost all the time in the universe. And their decay, it is so fast, it sends shivers down my spine. Let us face it, however; you haven't that problem. I've never seen you grow complacent or satisfied with the option of not broadening your horizons. Perhaps there you are more like them than like us." She shrugged one shoulder, smiling softly.

"You do not truly sound like him, forgive me for the joke. He is a bigger idealist, I believe. Though I find that he falls not for every pretty face. If he did things would be...different." Sif shifted uncomfortably, bending her legs at the knees. She wondered at Loki's heart, what it felt and what it longed for. A long time had passed since she last had wondered, and this time it was different - had to be, circumstances were different as were reasons behind such wondering - but she did all the same. Observing him now, his eyes closed, with a hint of something dark beneath the peace, Sif remembered all that time ago when his was the first face she looked for in a hall - in any public place even. There had been a time where his smile had made her heart flutter so stupidly she would get angry. Sif remembered vaguely being unfairly harsh in her words to him often during that time. Oh, how long it had been, how things had changed. He was definitely not cut out for complacency. And in that, he moved along not just his own life but others'. "He is a passionate man, but I don't doubt that you are too; with some differences in the way you show it, of course. Falling for only a few across such a large lifetime isn't a bad thing, it doesn't mean anything about your heart other than that you guard it well. I myself can count by the fingers of one hand the ones I truly felt something other than lust for. And still have fingers left."

A part of Sif wanted to insist, to tell Loki he was being a fool for being so guarded, but the other admired his loyalty. She meant no arm to Ruby and was never going to mention it, but Sif had to respect Loki's wishes of not airing out other people's business - even if indirectly. Her curiosity would have to be set aside. With an approving smile Sif nodded solemnly. "You have convinced me, I shall not mention it again. I'm sure I needn't say it, but I do hope you intend on helping her. Knowing oneself is quite freeing, I daresay even necessary for one's survival." Sif rolled her eyes both at Loki's completely unfounded interjection of pain and so she could dissimulate how she had been watching him the whole time his eyes had been closed. "Oh come now I am sure I have made bigger and more successful attempts at causing you pain which you have not responded to."

[thelostprince]

"You're so flattering to me today," Loki murmured, feeling complacent from all the sun. He was not used to basking in such weather; when he was at rest, it was often indoors, and he was willing to bet the sunlight was making him a bit loopy. "You have admitted to my persuasiveness, and my ability to signal passing caravans with my abnormally pale skin. You are in a good mood."

In that regard, though, while Loki was of mind to take her remark on him being like Midgardians as an insult, he didn't - and he knew she didn't mean it in that way, either, though someone else would have. He gave her a smile, slightly brittle, though not because of her. "You may be right, Sif," he said, and while he said it at first as a way to draw the conversation, he realized upon voicing it that it could be true. "It is not in my nature to be satisfied with much of anything, that is true, or even to admit to wanting something in the first place. Maybe I am more like them, after all. As I do not, it appears, belong on Asgard; and my similarities with it seem to grow dimmer with each passing day." He missed it, terribly; but there was something to be said about being away from there. Asgard had been a cage, and, after a time, he had ceased to truly grow. Free of those confines, it literally felt like fresh air.

He reached out and, for a moment, placed his hand on Sif's calf, letting it rest there for a beat of his heart. He was aware of Sif's love for Thor, if only because he had noted the signs, felt his brother to be the fool for not noticing them, or even taking action of his own will. He didn't know if it was still there, or if it was gone then for how long, but he knew it had existed. At times, yes, he had been wildly jealous, but that wasn't it. As a friend he understood how difficult it was, and for a second he wanted to relay that sympathy without words, because while he could be delicate it was all blunt to her ears. Whether Sif understood the motion or not he didn't know; but still, he would offer it.

If she believed in his passionate nature, then she would be right, but admitting that felt awkward in that moment, because at one time that passion had been directed towards her. And yes, he had contained it. "Ah, yes," he said, lifting his hand away from her. "There is quite a lot of emotion, in the Noble House of Odin. Little surprise that the Allfather took so long to voice his preference for an heir, though the choice itself wasn't a shock, either." He placed his hand on his chest, as if she were wounding him. "Oh, Sif, you wound me deeply each and every day, it's true. But you have uncommonly sharp fingernails. I think I'm bleeding to death from that jab."

[bornagoddess]

Raising a finger in Loki's direction, Sif cleared her throat. "I am more inclined than usual to verbally note your qualities, rather. But yes, you can blame it on the mood." The lazy smile she gave him, he could also blame on the mood. Despite Sif's reservations on Midgardians - which were falling away the more time she spent with them, incidentally - that had not been meant as an insult. She admired Loki's passion even if recently it had been so misguided it hurt her to think about it. You couldn't quite praise someone's passion when it gave way to genocide and betrayal. But that had not quite happened yet for him, which brought her peace. She nodded as he said things about himself that corresponded to her image of him, though her smile faltered when Loki said himself not belonging on Asgard. "I disagree. Were we all the same we would be a stunted folk, bland and square, denying progress and evolution. Going against the many does not deem you unfit. And it's where I have always seen you. To me, though perhaps not to you, it is your home." She looked down and away, blinking. "But I- I think I understand why you would feel such a way." It could not have been easy. After so many times hearing about how he had felt himself in Thor's shadow Sif had begun to observe the moments she had been privy to and see if he had been correct, and decided that as long as he had felt that way, it did not much matter whether he had been or not.

Many ages had gone by since the last time Loki and Sif had touched. Last time it had been her sword tip touching him, and that did not count. When she felt his hand on her calf Sif curbed the reflex of pulling away, instead looking up into his eyes with her widened ones. This was about what she had said about Thor. He was consoling her and it felt so strange, so sweet yet somewhat humiliating - it would always be when someone other than herself got wind of her true feelings and showed to possess such knowledge - that Sif didn't quite know how to feel. Sif also did not want to rebuke any gesture of Loki's she deemed as positive, seeing as she was trying to do her part so that he would not feel the need to go on a path he could not return from without death. Wordlessly, she reached down and put her hand over his for only a second, only enough to let her fingers brush his and leave the knowledge that she understood the gesture. She was even thankful that there had been no words attached to it as despite having started on the topic Sif had no wish to discuss it further.

"He ought never to have cast that doubt in the first place," she blurted out, bitterly, gasping when she realized what had just come out of her mouth. Speaking against the Allfather was inadvisable and frowned upon, even to one of his sons, even to the one he had scorned the most. But Sif had seen certain behaviors he had had with both his sons that had not felt right and she would not have gone with, and in this place her guard was down most of the time. It was a dangerous thing, but outside the golden atmosphere of her homeland she had not felt so pressed to keep her opinions to herself. And, as long as she did not make a habit of it and they did not end up in the Allfather's ears - which she doubted they would - Sif did not much care. She took to observing her nails instead after Loki's jest, smirk in place. "How dramatic! That is disappointing. I thought if anybody would enjoy a bit of nail scratching here and there would be you."

[thelostprince]

"Oh, but Sif, it is not my own opinion but the reactions of others which makes me think I am unwelcome," he said, lightly. Not scolding her; just a gentle reminder. He didn't know how she could think he belonged on Asgard still, but he was not going to outright argue with her - just jog her memory a little. "When I fell from the Bifrost, I know that no one looked for me. When I saw my brother again, I was faced with grave accusations. You, even, greeted me with the edge of your blade. There is little to suggest I have a home there anymore."

He didn't know how much Sif knew - whether or not it was common knowledge that Loki had let go of his own accord, rather than fallen as if through some grave accident - but if she wasn't aware of the true nature of his actions on the Bifrost, he was not about to inform her just then. That was a secret he guarded even from Frigga, now, as he feared her rebukes or, worse, her distress. "I prefer it here. It has been long since I have been somewhere where so many people seemed pleased to see me. It is a strange experience. Perhaps that does make them fools who don't know any better, but I've no urge to correct them now."

Her touch was oddly electric; he ignored the way the back of his hand seemed to sing, still, with the sensation of her fingertips. He sat up a bit and took a drink of wine, instead. Her words about Odin were suitably distracting, though, not for the subject but for the fact that she was actually voicing such an opinion. He gave her a startled, but not disapproving, look, then shook his head. "Do you mean he should never have let me think I had a chance at the crown?" he asked. "Perhaps he entertained the idea, in his youth, before I disappointed him. Or perhaps it was always to be Thor, all along. Who knows. I doubt he will ever tell anyone." The words were not said to be an excuse for Odin's actions; rather Loki delivered them dryly, infusing them with doubt. He blamed Odin for a good many things, and time away from home would not heal that particular wound.

At the scratching remark, though, he just laughed. "A scratch, yes," he said. "But not a jab. And while I agree, I don't know if you're suggesting I have violent tastes or I'm likened to a hound who enjoys his master's attention. In both cases, that's a bit much, my dear Sif."

[bornagoddess]

Sif, of course, understood what Loki meant. More so than he did, in a way, because where there may have been a bit of goodwill towards him before, none could be found now in most people. She lowered her gaze, a hint of sadness washing over her features. She could not know what that felt like, not belonging, feeling expunged from one's home, but she could not deny he had had his hand in making it so. "You have always, voluntarily or not, distanced yourself from us. After a while some began resenting that, twisting your different tastes into some sense of superiority. Eventually we began thinking it was due to some sort of jealousy over Thor. I am not saying we are correct, merely where that may come from. Or did, initially."

As for Thor's reactions, she couldn't blame him. Sif was willing to give Loki the chance she hadn't before, but she couldn't expect the same from anyone else. It was out of some form of love she had felt for him ages ago, a part of which would always remain in her heart. Sif did not want to lose him again, even more than she already had. To others, he was already lost, or it hurt too much to entertain the possibility that he might not. She understood. "At first we mourned you as dead, Loki. No one looks for the dead. But your mother never gave up. Even Thor was ever ready to come get you soon as we got wind of your whereabouts. Your mother - she found you, some time after. She found you and Thor came for you. But what you did, what you planned to do..." She shook her head, raising her eyes to his face again. "I pointed my blade at you because I thought you dead. Dead men do not greet you as you exit through doors. I did not believe it was you."

It was a sad thing that Loki rebuked his original home so totally, but Sif was more at peace with the idea than she would have thought. That was simply because everything she had lived that he hadn't pointed towards that anyway. She gave him a smile that mixed sadness with gladness. "As long as you find a home, I can't fault you for it not being the one you were born to. Even if I shall miss you...Once in a long while. I don't think them fools any more than I think myself one. I am here enjoying your company, am I not?" Perhaps this place alone would make him less open to whatever cruel ideas he had gotten into his head before invading Midgard with an army of Chitauri.

"I think I speak of this too much already, but yes. I think a king does not instil competition between his two heirs from an early age, when what the kingdom needs is cooperation between the two. I think a king does not pretend to be considering either when one is groomed for it somewhat more than the other. And finally, I think a king needs to be a better judge of character." She eyed Loki briefly. "It is clear - and, as it turns out, confirmed - which of the two, objectively, might be a better king to Asgard on virtue of, at the very least, wanting to be it. Provided he would not abuse his power and use it merely to gain more of it, of course." Sif was not so naive as that. Despite what was said about the better leader being the one who did not want the position, Sif did not think that, for his many qualities, Thor made a good king when he did not want the throne in the least. He had grown quite a bit during his time in Midgard, but while there he had fallen in love with the whole realm - not just Jane Foster - in a way that made him lack objectivity. After speaking Sif leaned closer, an intense look upon Loki. "You will not repeat any of this to anyone, do you understand? I never spoke to you about the Allfather. Ever."

Shaking her head, Sif sighed deeply. "I meant neither. But you did not long ago call yourself a masochist for befriending me and I cannot deny you that moniker."

[thelostprince]

He could feel her sympathies, and even though he had imparted some to her not minutes before, he found this type to be somewhat detrimental. "Cheer up, Sif," he said, because she was growing too somber, too fast, and he would rather the Sif who had first joined him - cheerful and pleasant. Loki did not want pity, and while he didn't think that Sif was giving him any, there still remained the fact that he felt like she was, simply from the fact that she wasn't treating him sternly. "This isn't my home, either - I shall remain a vagrant. And I am at peace with that, for the time being. I miss Asgard less with you and my mother here." Half false, half true; Sif was a reminder, but a pleasant one - and present.

He held up a hand in innocent defense. "I shan't breathe a word to anyone," he said. "Though it is a shame you cannot be so candid with others as to your opinion of the Allfather's actions. Let that candidness remain with me," he said, with a teasing smile, "I'm already unpopular enough as it is. A little bit more won't hurt. If ever I voice your opinion, I shall claim it as my own." He did not ask her just which son she herself deemed to be the better King - in that instance he cared not for her opinion, or rather, what he assumed her opinion would be. It was true, though, that Loki had been given the throne, and he had mishandled it badly. He had been emotional, desperate, empowered. In some ways he was still at a loss at where he had gone astray, but somewhere he had, if everyone else's accounts were to be considered.

"That is true," he admitted, to the masochist remark, with a bit of a laugh. Rarely did anyone put his own words against him, especially when he had been teasing. He held out the wine to her. "Ah. Here is your reward for outsmarting me."

[bornagoddess]

At Loki's request that she cheer up Sif gave him a pointed look. Sometimes she wondered if he steered the conversation to where she would bare her heart to him only to then make it look like it had all been trivial stuff, not worthy of deeper meaning or baring anything. It annoyed her, but Sif said nothing - again. She simple gave him a forced smile that did not reach her eyes at first, though it became more genuine when he mentioned her part and Frigga's in making him miss home less. "Glad to be of help. I had missed your mother terribly as well, it was a great blessing to find her here."

Sif understood what a waste it was to voice your support of someone only to tell that person it couldn't transpire to anyone else. Were it the other way around, she probably would have been angry. "It is, yes, but I am not up to losing everything in order to support you so openly. I would love to vouch for you but I am not an idealist, not to that extent. I may try to bring you home and wish you there but I cannot change others' minds." She could try to change his future actions, however. At least she was going to give it a try. Sif shrugged. "However, you are free to use my words as your own." For whatever it was worth her tentative support was out there. Though thinking back on how Loki in the throne had gone, Sif almost wished there was a third option.

Although often she couldn't care less about outsmarting Loki - or anyone - Sif couldn't help a bright grin when Loki admitted to having been one-upped by her. "I am not the only one in a bright mood, surely." She quipped, taking the bottle.

[thelostprince]

He didn't want to argue with Sif, though she was giving him the sort of look that suggested she suspected he was jerking her around. Loki felt too at ease, too lazy, to purposefully poke at Sif. Tease her, yes, but not truly aggravate her. And so he tried to at least tiptoe around whatever was bothering her. If she wished to speak to him about delicate matters, he would allow her to do that, though he would try not to encourage her overmuch.

"I don't blame you for keeping your opinions to yourself," he said. "I am grateful you impart them to me. That is more than anyone else has offered." He tipped his head to the side, surprised that she wanted him to go home. He would expect that her life would be easier, better, without his presence. And if she were to vouch for him? If anything went wrong, such mistakes would fall on Sif's shoulders. Loki did not trust himself, or what he would do back home, to be comfortable with such an arrangement. "I would not wish you to have that responsibility, were I to ever go back," he said.

"I'm in a very good mood." She helped with that, of course. "That's why I want company in it."

[bornagoddess]

At least Loki did not seem keen to hold her silence against her, and Sif would have to be contented by that. While her life would not have been easier with him around, it would be slightly improved, perhaps. Then again, he had been around lately, before he and Thor had left to do battle with the Dark Elves. She had not gone to visit, had been discouraged to. And her life had not been improved any. Perhaps he was right, and in the end it would be better for all if he did not return. At least here they were both free, in the literal sense as well as the more figurative one. Still, his selflessness in wanting to spare her the burden of vouching for him was touching. Sif smiled. "I appreciate your concern. And you might be right, it might be better if you do not. You seem happier here, even I can see as much. It's out of nothing but selfishness that I would want you closer. Plus, we're plenty close already."

Rolling on her stomach, Sif pulled the bottle to herself and took a sip of the wine, an easy smile coming over her face. "You have it. I daresay we've run out of serious business to talk about as it is."

[thelostprince]

"Happier?" Loki asked - though really, he was more musing out loud. Happiness suggested he had settled, somewhat; and perhaps he had, outwardly. There was still something itching at him, however, something that made him realize that he could stay at the Nexus as long as he wanted and yet it would not be something he, himself, would be able to do. As he told Ruby, he may leave, and soon. And he would want to come back. But he could not stay at the hotel forever. "I suppose."

At the mention of serious business, he laughed. Though his future loomed disturbing and dark, and he had so little knowledge of it despite the fact that everyone around him seemed to know, it didn't truly threaten him just then. Perhaps that was a sign now was a good time to go and meet it; while there was that inkling of invincibility hovering over him. "You could always tell me what I get up to," he said. "Thor is dreadfully obscure. I don't understand how I am supposed to avoid misery, destruction and eventual death if I'm not told of it, and I've accused him of not wanting me to. But that, I think, would do the opposite of lightening the mood."

[bornagoddess]

"Less bitter?" Sif tried, head tilted as she sported a teasing smile. "More prone to smiling? Lighter on your feet?" She nodded silently when he agreed, though in her hopeful ignorance Sif liked to think the Nexus, with all its doors and places to go was enough for Loki's ever-searching needs.

Her smile faltered completely when Loki suggested she tell him what he did in his future. Sometimes it felt like a fool's errand. It was Sif's biggest fear that it was. "You scare me, when you speak of it so lightly, but I suppose if no one told you you can't know. It won't lighten the mood but then, I still have the hope I can somehow keep you from all of it. You commit despicable deeds. Unforgivable. You are no longer yourself, you become twisted, consumed. Every chance you're given at diverting from your dark path, you squander. And your redemption comes only in death. And I hardly see you again."

As one last mad attempt before leaving it enough alone forever, Sif took Loki's hand in hers. "You become so alone, and no one can reach you. You won't let us, and then later we won't want to. And I will spend the rest of my time wondering what I could have done to keep you." All that said, Sif let go of Loki's hand and took the bottle again, closing her eyes. She downed the whole of it in one sitting, breathing through her nose all the while. When she was done Sif discarded the bottle behind herself and drew a long breath.

"Right I think now we're done with the serious business. So I suggest we speak of the pretty shapes clouds make and of how this light favors my complexion. Or so I'm told."

[thelostprince]

Loki was supremely startled, which was a difficult thing to accomplish - yet Sif had managed it. In all of her earnesty, and in that kind-heartedness she so rarely displayed, for a moment he was at a loss for words. These instances came to him sometimes in extreme duress, like when Thor said something particularly hurtful, but rarely had he been startled into silence by so simple an action as Sif reaching out and taking his hand. To offer such a touch was one thing, as he had done earlier, with little difficulty; but to receive it, especially one so forward and plain like taking his hand, was unexpected to say the least, harder to understand.

In response, all Loki really wanted to do was reassure her, as she seemed to take his hand in a moment of her own distress. It took him a moment to realize she had already let go, and was drinking the wine, before he even managed to think of a response. "I'll do my best to remember that," he said slowly. He was trying to separate the words in his head, from the description of his future to Sif's apparent response to it. He would not have expected her to cling and yet, from what she said, it seemed like she may have done it all the same.

He glanced up at the aforementioned light. "It does favour you," he said. "Though I should say you favour your surroundings more." The flattery - so close to flirtation - tripped off of his lips before he could stop it, not that he particularly wanted to. He wanted her to hear something nice. He wasn't sure if she realized she had just done similar to him.

[bornagoddess]

Upon seeing the startled look on Loki's face Sif wanted to stop speaking, and yet she found she couldn't. This was the chance she had been waiting for to lay it all out, and now that she had started she couldn't very well stop. When she did, and downed the rest of the wine, Sif felt at once weightless and like something was pushing down on her shoulders enough to bury her in the ground. Loki's tentative vow was enough, had to be enough. Sif nodded slowly. "Thank you. That is all I can ask." There wasn't much hope in her at that moment, as Sif had realized upon exposing the facts that it was not up to her to actively change anything. And perhaps things could not be changed, or perhaps she would not see the effects in her own version of Asgard. Dimensions, universes, these were things she struggled to understand, and Sif was not sure if anything changed in her own past if Loki tried to change his future. It remained to be seen but so far...she remembered everything the same.

Now it was Loki's turn to be flattering, even complimenting. Ignoring how her heart fluttered slightly at it, when Sif furrowed her brow it was a testament to how unused she was to that. She gave Loki a smile, thankful as well as surprised, and realized she did not know how to reply. She turned around, laying flat on her back. Her eyes fluttered to a close against the bright sunlight. "I could do this for days. I am not typically lazy but something about enjoying the radiant sun with y- with an old friend has started to sound like the top of a small list of things I ought to do a lot more of."